My boyfriend makes fun of me because I often accidentally knock things over. My retort is that it usually only happens in his apartment, where things are piled everywhere, and it's hard to reach anything without having to reach over something else.

For Christmas, he got me a very nice camcorder. After opening it, we used it during my family's Christmas gathering. In my parents' clutter-free house, my nimrod boyfriend managed to knock it over from a table that was mostly empty except for his other camera. The very nice camcorder now comes with a rattle.

Fun Freedom Fried Chicken Friday / fən frē-dəm frī-d chi-kin frī-dā / noun / a day in which a person, typically male, gorges oneself with domestic fowl that has been battered or floured and then cooked in a vat of fat because his significant other is out of town, usually occurs on the sixth day of the week, but can be any day

Etymology: coined by my nimrod boyfriend in 2007

Usage Example: Let’s go to the chicken hut for Fun Freedom Fried Chicken Friday since the girls are away.

According to the NYPD, for the first week of November, there were 137 reported cases of burglary in Brooklyn. That number pales in comparison to the total of 616 incidents in Brooklyn reported throughout that same week (including burglaries, among other crimes, i.e., grand larceny, assault, murder...).

One of my boyfriend's friends lived in Brooklyn for three years. He moved back to Long Island stating, "You can't have nice things in Brooklyn." I agree.

This past weekend, my boyfriend's car got broken into (again). But, we were lucky – the criminal was experienced. There weren't any broken windows, messed up doors, or anything else that we'd have to get repaired. The person just ransacked the car, seemingly looking for the key to the Club (steering wheel lock), so he could steal the car for good.

Regardless, this incident forced my nimrod boyfriend to semi-clean the inside of his car for the first time in the past year.

Now, if only I could hire someone to ransack his bedroom...

My nimrod boyfriend has 10 computer monitors. For what? I don't know. Most are just collecting dust, not even hooked up.

(He also has six desktop CPUs and five laptops, of which, he uses four -- but that's a separate blog entry.)

On average, he sends me links to two monitors a day which he'd like to add to his assortment.

Yesterday, he added another monitor to his collection, and repeated his continued threat/dream of building "a wall of monitors."

There's a snake roaming around my nimrod boyfriend's house for the past five days.

The snake escaped when his roommate, Mike, was cleaning its cage. To catch the snake, Mike set up bottles with dead mice inside -- he says the snake will enter the bottle, eat the mouse, and then be too bloated to get back out of the bottle.

There's dead mice in bottles all over my nimrod boyfriend's house for the past four days.

I don't know what's worse the snake or the dead mice.

My nimrod boyfriend wants a cat. He said, "Does it come with a cage or do you have to buy it?" "You have to buy it, [nimrod]," I responded. His solution: "Okay - I'll give you a pillow case to bring it home in."

My nimrod boyfriend "accidentally" punched me in the face when we were sleeping. The next day he said to me, "You know your coughing woke me up in the middle of the night."