My nimrod boyfriend wants a cat. He said, "Does it come with a cage or do you have to buy it?" "You have to buy it, [nimrod]," I responded. His solution: "Okay - I'll give you a pillow case to bring it home in."

My nimrod boyfriend "accidentally" punched me in the face when we were sleeping. The next day he said to me, "You know your coughing woke me up in the middle of the night."

Yesterday, my nimrod boyfriend played me "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel on YouTube, and said to me, "Is this the song you said you hate?" He wanted to know because he wanted to make a mix tape of songs I can't stand.